Frogs in Space

Cortesía de LLDP

¿TU, eres bonita o cabrona?

Una mujer y un hombre chocan de frente en sus autos, el golpe es tan grande, que quedan los autos completamente destrozados. Pero increíblemente ninguno de los dos sale lastimado. Después de salir de los autos la mujer dice:

- ¡Ay Dios!, mira nuestros autos!, no quedó nada de ellos y milagrosamente no tenemos ni un rasguño,ésta debe ser una señal de Dios de que Nosotros debemos conocernos, ser amigos, y hacer el amor como desquiciados por el resto de nuestros días.

Y el hombre, viendo la belleza de la mujer, contesta:
- ¡Oh si! Estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo, Ésta es una señal de Dios...

La mujer continua:
- Mira, ¡Otro milagro! mi auto está completamente destruido pero esta botella de vino no se quebró, de seguro que Dios quiere que nos tomemos esta botella de vino y celebremos nuestra buena suerte.

Le da la botella al hombre, él acepta, la abre y se toma la mitad, se la regresa, ella toma la botella e inmediatamente le pone el tapón y se la regresa al hombre, y él le pregunta:

- ¿Qué, no vas a tomar?

La mujer responde:

- No, yo creo que mejor voy a esperar a la policía; tú ya traes aliento alcohólico.

MORALEJA:

LAS MUJERES SON Y SERÁN SIEMPRE MAS CABRONAS QUE BONITAS!!!

LOS HOMBRES SON Y SERÁN SIEMPRE, APARTE DE CABRONES, MAS CALIENTES QUE INTELIGENTES!!!

Cortesía de LLDP

Un hombre se sube a un avión en el aeropuerto de la ciudad de México con destino a Nueva York y al sentarse, descubre a una mujer guapísima que va entrando al avión... Se da cuenta que se dirige hacia su asiento y, lotería, se acomoda en el lugar de al lado.

- Hola - pregunta - ¿Viaje de negocios o de vacaciones?

Ella lo mira y le responde de manera encantadora:

- De trabajo, voy a la Convención Anual de Ninfómanas en los Estados Unidos.

Traga saliva. Aquí está una de las mujeres más hermosas que ha visto en su vida, sentada a su lado y va a una convención de ninfómanas!

Luchando por mantener una actitud correcta, le pregunta calmadamente:

- ¿Y que hace usted exactamente en esta convención?

- Conferencista - le responde - Hablo desde mi experiencia, para desmitificar muchos mitos sobre la sexualidad.

- ¿De veras? - sonríe - ¿Y qué mitos son esos?

- Bueno - ella le explica – Un mito muy popular es que los africanos son los hombres mejor dotados físicamente, cuando en realidad son los indios los que poseen esta cualidad. Otro mito muy popular es que los franceses son los mejores amantes, cuando en realidad son los de ascendencia griega. Y también hemos comprobado que los mejores amantes en potencia, en todas las categorías, son de origen española.

De pronto la mujer se incomoda y se sonroja, - Perdón - le dice - en realidad no debería estar hablando de todo esto con usted, cuando ni siquiera se su nombre!

Pluma Blanca - le responde - Pluma Blanca Papadopulos Pérez, pero mis amigos me dicen Manolo.

Summary:

• Microsoft Silverlight Streaming by Windows Live Beta is being discontinued and will eventually be taken down
• A new Windows® Azure™-based hosting and delivery service will be launched by the end of 2009, though this is not a direct replacement for Silverlight Streaming and will have costs associated with its use
• You can access, retrieve and if desired remove your content that is currently hosted on Silverlight Streaming by following the instructions below
• Key dates and information about the availability of the new Windows Azure functionality, and when the existing Silverlight Streaming beta service will be taken down, will be communicated in the coming weeks

Background:

Since May 2007, we have been offering a free beta service to host Silverlight applications and videos. This service is being discontinued to make way for a new Windows Azure-based service. Once this new service is launched, the current Silverlight Streaming beta service will eventually be taken down.

Don’t panic! All your current content is safe and you will receive sufficient notice for you to make an informed decision on where to host your Silverlight content and applications. However, in the interim, we would like you to be aware of the following:

• Effective immediately, no new sign-ups are permitted for the Silverlight Streaming service. In addition, the Silverlight Streaming publishing plug-in for Expression Encoder will no longer be available for download.
• The new Windows Azure functionality will not be a direct replacement for the Silverlight Streaming service and will be a paid subscription service.

Steps you can take today:

• You can access all of your content that is currently hosted on Silverlight Streaming and also view the file system to retrieve your content locally. For complete instructions on how to do this, please refer to the Step by step instructions for retrieving Silverlight Streaming content section below.
• Stay tuned for more information. Key dates about the new Windows Azure-based functionality, and when the existing service will be taken down will be communicated in the coming weeks.
• You can learn more about the Windows Azure Platform here.

If you have additional questions, please contact us at slsfbk@microsoft.com.

Step by step instructions for retrieving Silverlight Streaming content:

You can directly access the file system of the Silverlight Streaming hosting service. This will be the easiest way to retrieve content directly to your computer. In order to do this, you need to know the Silverlight Streaming Account ID and Account Key used to access the file system. To get this information, do the following:

• Open a web browser and connect to http://silverlight.live.com
• Login with your Live ID.
• Click on Manage Account.
• You will see your Account ID and Key under the Account Information section at the bottom of the page.

You can connect to the SLS file system in a number of ways:

1. Map a network drive

Map to the following network drive, replacing <Account ID> with the numeric Account ID you found by following the steps above.

https://silverlight.services.live.com/<AccountID>/

2. Open as a web folder

• Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows Server 200 and Windows Server 2003 users must install the latest Software Update for Web Folders.
• Internet Explorer users: open the web folder by connecting to the following URL, replacing <Account ID> with the numeric Account ID you found by following the steps above:

https://silverlight.services.live.com/<AccountID>/

• Other web browsers: copy and paste the following path into the “Run…” box on the Start menu:

\\silverlight.services.live.com@SSL\DavWWWRoot\<AccountID>\

• When prompted for credentials, supply your Silverlight Streaming account information that you found by following the steps in the previous section.

Note for Vista users:

For improved performance, disable thumbnails as follows:

1. Click on the Start button, then choose All Programs followed by Accessories
2. Run Windows Explorer
3. In Windows Explorer, click on the Organize button on the menu bar
4. In the pull-down menu, click on Folder and Search Options
5. In the Folder Options dialog window, click on the View tab
6. Under the Files and Folders tree heading, ensure that Always show icons, never thumbnails is checked

3. Mac OS X users

In the Finder, choose Go ->Connect To Server. In the Server Address field, paste the following address, replacing <Account ID> with the numeric Account ID you found by following the steps above.

https://silverlight.services.live.com/<AccountID>/

This year I finally decided to invest a bit in my yard, and besides the usual lawn maintenance, bark clean-up and tree pruning, I bought for about $100 worth of plants, shrubs and trees. I got a mix of evergreens, perennials, and in general hearty plants that will not die just because I look at them the wrong way.

As it happens, on each plant came a reference tag with the plant details, and thanks to the Home Depot garden web site, I can now share my plant collection with you, should you care in the least.

Azalea / Rhododendron x 'Glacier'

Azalea / Rhododendron x 'Girard Pleasant White'

Dark Green Arborvitae / Thuja Occidentalis 'Nigra'

Emerald Green Arborvitae / Thuja Occidentalis 'Smaragd'

English Dwarf Boxwood / Buxus Sempervirens 'Suffruticosa'

Gold Dust Plant / Aucuba Japonica

Red Maple / Acer Rubrum

Rhododendron / Rhododendron Catawbiense 'Roseum Elegans'

I am eager to see how all these plants go through the winter, and look forward to a greener and brighter yard next spring.

A great book by an outstanding human being…

I had the privilege to meet Rosanne Olson at a party recently, and she was a person to reckon with. Very interesting person, who first question to me after we introduced ourselves to each other was: “So, what are your passions in life?”. After a while, at that same party, she connected with my wife and off I went, as they remained hunched on their conversation for a couple hours solid!

She really believes in her work, and it is beautiful altogether. I warmly recommend you to read and look at her book (yes, you have to do both) “This is who I am”.

Others have already said it better than I would. Read the Seattle Times article on http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/books/2004323366_this03.html.

Or connect with the author on her web site at http://www.bodyimagebook.com.

For a French guy to write about how much goodness is packed in a Laughing Cow light cheese wedge is ironic, but kinda makes sense, somewhere… The Laughing Cow, known in France as “Vache qui rit” is a creamy cheese spread that pretty much every kid in France has eaten at some stage in their childhood. I certainly was not an exception and ate my fair share of it at home, in picnics, and anytime where packing cheese ready to go and that would not suffer outside the fridge…

First some “historical” context. It appeared during World War I when things were still hard to find, and producing cheap cheese with leftovers of other more refined and prestigious cheese was not only a way to create an economical product, but also a great recycling process applied to food. This led to the now famous cheese wedges, then cubes (cf. Apéricubes), and other packaged formats in which the Laughing Cow is available nowadays.

Today, one of the variations on the original Laughing Cow recipe is the “light” version, with approx. 7% fat. While food purists might argue this doesn’t really qualify as “cheese”, it is a healthy source of proteins. As I’ll describe in a future post, a good and balanced diet includes a lot of proteins. You want to have proteins 5 times a day, and two intakes are to happen mid-morning and mid-afternoon.

To come to the point of this post, once you’re over the protein bars and fed up with other meal replacement solutions, and are ready to get back to “real” food for healthy snacks, look for some Laughing Cow wedges. Four wedges provide about 3 ounces of proteins (or 85 grams). A good snack should always combine proteins with some carbs, fiber and sugar of course, so combine the Laughing Cow wedges with a serving of fruit (i.e. two small plums, a small orange, a small apple, a cup of grapes, etc.) and you’ll have the perfect healthy snack on the go!

This will help boost your day, provide a healthy snack between your breakfast and your lunch, and cut nicely into your afternoon lull, to get you going for the rest of the day.

So next time you want to grab a Snickers bar or a Twix, think about the power of the Laughing Cow and give it a try.

De la part du tonton JM, trop bonne celle-là… C’est une blague, d’accord, mais c’est presque de la philo…

Sujet d'une composition de français :

Abordez de manière la plus concise possible, les trois domaines suivants
1. RELIGION
2. SEXUALITÉ
3. MYSTÈRE

La copie la plus courte a reçu 20/20, voici l’intégralité du texte de la composition :
Mon Dieu, je suis enceinte, mais de qui ???

Para los que somos padres y también para los futuros...

Todo lo que siempre necesité saber, lo aprendí de mi madre:

Me enseñó a APRECIAR UN TRABAJO BIEN HECHO
'¡Si se van a matar cabrones, háganlo afuera! ¡Acabo de limpiar!'

Me enseñó RELIGION
'¡Mejor reza para que esta pinche mancha salga de la alfombra!'

Me enseñó LOGICA
'¡Porque yo lo digo! ¡Por eso... y punto!'

Me enseñó a PREDECIR EL FUTURO
'Donde te saques otro pinche 5, vas a querer no haber nacido! .'

Me enseñó IRONIA
'Sigue llorando y yo te voy a dar una buena razón para llorar.'

Me enseñó a SER AHORRATIVO
'¡Guarda las lágrimas para cuando me muera!'

Me enseñó a intentar lo IMPOSIBLE
'¡Cierra la boca y come!'

Me enseñó CONTORSIONISMO
'¡Mira la mugre que traes en la nuca! ¡Voltéa!'

Me enseñó FUERZA DE VOLUNTAD
' Y te vas a quedar sentado todo el día hasta que te comas todo.'

Me enseñó METEOROLOGIA
'¡Parece que un huracán pasó por tu cuarto!'

Me enseñó MESURA
'¡Te he dicho un millón de veces que no seas exagerado!'

Me enseñó EL CICLO DE LA VIDA
'¡Te traje a este mundo, y te puedo sacar de él, animal!'

Me enseñó A MODIFICAR PATRONES DE COMPORTAMIENTO
'¡Deja de actuar como el cabron de tu padre!'

Me enseñó a no tener ENVIDIA
'¡Hay millones de niños menos afortunados en este mundo que no tienen una mamá tan maravillosa como la tuya!'

Me enseñó VENTRILOQUIA
'¡No me rezongues! ¡Cállate y contéstame! ¿Por qué lo hiciste?'

Me enseñó principios de Ortodoncia
'¡Me vuelves a contestar y te estampo los dientes en la pared!'

Me enseñó RECTITUD
'¡Yo te voy a enderezar a chingadazos!'.

¡GRACIAS MAMÁ!

Je ne peux pas manger de porc à cause de la grippe porcine...
Je ne peux pas manger de boeuf à cause de la vache folle...
Je ne peux pas manger de poisson à cause du mercure dans l'eau...
Je ne peux pas manger de poulet à cause de la grippe aviaire...
Je ne peux pas manger d'oeufs à cause de la salmonelle...
Je ne peux pas manger de fruits et légumes à cause des insecticides et herbicides...

Hmmmmmmmmm...

Je crois qu'il ne reste que le chocolat et la crème glacée, et souvenez-vous que "STRESSED" s'épelle "DESSERTS" à l'envers !

Envoyez un lien vers cet article à au moins 4 personnes et vous perdrez 1 kg. Ignorez-le et vous engraisserez de 5 kg immédiatement !

C'est pour ça que je l'ai bloggué, en pluis de l'envoyer à tous mes copains et collègues, je ne voulais rien risquer !

As soon as it came out, it started flying around email and the blogosphere!

• Is it “bling”?
• Remake of a Groundhog Day (the fun starts at 35 seconds within the video)
• Is it Tony Soprano saying “badda bing”?
• Is it Korben Dallas saying “bing bad bada boom” in the 5th Element?
• Another take on bing vs. bling
• Of course, the Monty Python’s machine that goes “bing!”
• Is it BING “Because It’s Not Google” or “But It Nails Google”? I much prefer the recursive acronym “Bing Is Not Google” à la “GNU is Not UNIX"…
• Are users of Bing called “bingers”, “binglers”, “Earthbings”, “Bingons”, …?
• Does the verb get conjugated as bing, bang, bung?

From my point of view, I could think of two things: Chandler Bing in Friends and Helados Bing in Mexico. Then, I thought of Milla Jojovitch crashing down in Bruce Willis’s cab after taking a dive. After another short while, I thought about the verb, should it be regular, or not, I think not: bing, bang, bung souds “right”. Finally, I thought, it looks like those marketing guys did go to school after all. EVERYBODY was talking about it, within hours of the launch, the name had stuck, for better or for worse only future will tell, but it had stuck, that’s a fact.

There was negativity of course, but a lot of positive response too.

• CNET article
• Reuters article
• Tweeter posts galore
• Channel 9 shows you Bing in action

As far as I am concerned, I have always stuck to MSN Search, then Live Search, then the somewhat shortlived Kumo dogfood, and now Bing. Why? It just works well enough for me. Also, the desktop gimmicks (gadgets, desktop bar, tray bloatware and other crap) never did it for me. Nor did the browser add-ons and toolbars for that matter… Typing “? foo” in the browser’s address bar to look for “foo” did the trick just fine for as long as I can remember having to search for something on the Internet.

So as I said in my Tweet about this on Thursday: “Live Search is dead, long live Bing.”

5 days later, I can say it grew on me and I actually like the name. Go figure.